So, You’re Thinking About Divorce?

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Making the decision to get divorced takes courage and strength.  And, if you want to have some control over your divorce and  your post-divorce life, it also takes vision. Vision to come up with a picture of what you want your life to look post-divorce—what are your goals, your aspirations, your priorities surrounding your children, finances, living situations, employment, retirement etc.?

If you focus on getting clear about what you want your life to look like after your divorce, I guarantee that you will feel more in control, more on the same page with your lawyer and more likely to have an outcome that’s aligned with your goals and desires than if you had not done this valuable exercise. 

This is your life and you need to set the stage for it. YOU need to tell your lawyer what your desired outcomes are.  Your lawyer’s job is to counsel you, given the facts and circumstances of your case and the applicable law, about how realistic and/ or reasonable your goals are. 

Here’s how it works:  sit down with a pen and paper (or your laptop), your imagination and even a bit of excitement, and write down what you want your post-divorce life to look like.  

Do you need help in getting started?   Here are some questions you may want to ask yourself:

  • What matters most to you: is it money in the bank? Retirement? A secure place to live? Your children’s college education being taken care of? Relocating to another state? etc
  • Where do you want to live?
  • Do you want to stay in your current home or sell it?
  • Would you prefer to travel and not be bogged down with a large home to take care of?
  • What are your current expenses?  Do you see areas in your expenses that can/should be “tweaked”?
  • If you have kids, what will the timesharing with your soon-to-be ex look like? 
  • Do you want to/need to go back to work? Where? Doing what? How much will you earn? Do you need to retrain or go back to school?
  • Is maintaining a relationship with your soon-to-be ex important to you?  Or are you content simply being civil co-parents to your kids?
  • Are you thinking that you would like to get remarried in the near future?
  • What do you want your retirement to look like?
  • Do you have a good sense of your finances?  Do you need to consult with a financial advisor to ascertain if your goals coincide with your financial realty?

 I work with my clients throughout their case  to assess and reassess what their goals and objective are in devising customized plans and strategies to meet those goals and objectives. 

Remember, you can’t get anywhere if you don’t know where you’re heading.

To learn more about collaborative divorce and other divorce options, go to: or call my office at 561-910-1870.

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